But what does it mean to be in love?

I'm in love! I really am. But, what does it mean to be in love? I wonder if anyone really knows. I feel as though different people will always have different explanations about this world wide disease. I think that being in love is when you continuously go every day thinking about the same person for at least 3 months, because any time before that could simply be a crush. You must actually know and talk to this person, celebrities don't count AT ALL. I find it very creepy when people are "in love" with celebrities. I feel like there cannot be love with out passion. I'm not saying you can't be in love if you don't have sex, but there has to be some sort of physical connection. You must be able to be yourself around this person. You must share secrets, cry in front of them, and occasionally get mad at them. A relationship cannot be real if neither of the people get mad every once in a while. The person must make you happy. You have to know and understand the little things about each other. And when things get rough, you must never choose to give up. I'm not sure why I choose these reasons to describe being in love, but somewhere along the path of my young life I picked them out. And that's how I know I'm in love.

Last night

   I spent last night with my boyfriend. Once I arrived, he excitingly showed me all of his new cassettes that he had gotten from goodwill. He then led me down stairs to show me some new songs he had been working on with his guitar. The first was a bad ass little solo to a song that he had already created. The second song was much different, though. The second song was for me, and it was one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. The song talked all about how he never wants to be without me, and included comical parts about Terminator, Robbin Williams, and I think a trailer park (haha). I, being the baby I am, couldn't help but cry while he was playing his song. I feel so lucky to have someone that loves me so much that they make songs about me while their up late at night with nothing to do. Matt then coaxed me into singing along with him. I never ever sing aloud for someone unless I'm jokingly singing in a silly voice, or if the music is so loud that it is almost impossible to hear what my actual voice sounds like. But, in this situation there were only the quiet strums of the guitar in the background. At first, I was reluctant to try and kept giggling, but then I pushed past my fear and actually belted out my not so good singing voice for Matt. I may not be the best singer, but I think it made him happy that I did it just for him.
That is all.

25 Cent Kiss

A 25 cent kiss is no ordinary kiss.

It is not a peck like chickens searching the ground for food.

A 25 cent kiss is slow,

 It’s soft,

It’s inviting,

 It’s exhilarating,  

It’s gentle,

It’s giving,

It’s sweet,

I never knew what a 25 cent kiss was like

Something as cheap as a quarter should not be as perfect as un touched nature.

But it is

And you taught me this, and I will never forget. 

About a week ago Matt jokingly asked me for a 25 cent kiss. I gave him a quick peck on the lips. He, frustrated, told me that the kiss I had given him was no 25 cent kiss. So, I asked him to show  me what a 25 cent kiss was. He then held my face in his hands and slowly kissed me. Our lips melted together. Chills were sent all throughout my body, and I wanted more. But there was no more. That short and simple, yet not so simple, kiss was a 25 cent kiss. And I will never forget the feeling. And I will never stop asking him for more 25 cent kisses. 

What defines a best friend

This is my best friend Julie and I. Julie has been my best friend ever since I can remember. We did have an off  period though, So we are not completely perfect. We've been on as best friends since 8th grade. She's my longest lasting relationship. 5 years and still going strong. I am 100% percent positive that Julie will be in my life until the day I die. It's funny, well more strange than funny, that the relationship I hold with Julie inspires me to believe in true love. If I can have such a strong relationship with Julie, then obviously it's possible to have a strong relationship with a man. Julie and I have ups and downs. We fight like cats at times, but always get over it. Our friendship lets me know that it's okay to fight, it's normal. So if I fight with a guy, it doesn't mean that we won't work out. I can go to Julie with anything. She knows my deepest darkest secrets. She's seen me at my worst. She's witnessed my heart break for the first time and helped pick up the pieces. She's seen me when i'm beyond mad. And she's been there while I've been pushed past my limit and forced to the point where I crack. I trust her with every fiber of my being, and I always will.

Next week

  Matt is leaving for South Carolina this coming Saturday at 3:00 A.M. He'll be gone for a week and I will be lonely for a week. I have friends, I swear! They are just always busy. I have Julie, who works extremely long and frequent hours at Kohls. Lindsey, Who is a new mom to a beautiful 6 month old daughter. Obviously she is always busy. I have Ali, who is sadly leaving this Friday. I have Nina who babysits every day of the week all day long. And, last but not least, I have Matt. Those are my best friends, the only people who come to mind when I want to be accompanied by someone else. I'd actually rather sit by myself than hangout with anyone else (haha) .. Sad, but true. I asked Kerie for more hours today at work, hoping to keep myself busy during this up coming week. Sadly, she declined.. The work schedule has already been made and she can't work me anymore until October. Ugh! I guess I will spend the week working the little bit I do, reading, watching random Tv shows, and sitting my ass in front of the computer.

Introverted

   I have noticed that I have very few friends. I choose to be this way surprisingly. When needed, I can be a very outgoing, friendly, and playful person. But, I mostly like to keep to myself. An ideal night for me is not going out to a party, but instead staying inside with a close friend and talking all night. I enjoy having abstract and intellectual conversations. If a person tends to be the more outgoing party animal type, I put barriers up between me and this person. Sure, I will be friendly and kind but there is no way in hell I will ever become close with them. I take life seriously, perhaps too seriously. I am more interested in my future career and life than wasting away my brain drinking and doing drugs. Maybe I'm boring or weird, but I like the way I live my life and I am very happy with the direction it is going.

"So much working, reading, thinking, living to do! A lifetime is not long enough." 

 Sylvia Plath 

I love this so so very much

Dear Maddie,

This is your first post.

Love,
Ali