FALL!

It's fall! I'm so glad the leaves are starting to change and the air is getting colder! Tomorrow is October 1st can you believe it? I can't! Time really does fly. But I'm not complaining. I even had to wear a scarf the other day - and I was still cold! I love it! Pumpkins are on display at work and apple cider is becoming a popular sale item. I can't wait to buy some myself. Maybe it's a bit too soon though. I want the weather to be at a constant low of 60's before I go buying all this fall stuff. With fall comes sweaters (my favorite) and boots and scarves and gloves and hot drinks! I'm just so excited sitting here thinking about all of this. And the best part.... I will NOT be working Halloween night! How great is that? If you're a Halloween lover like me, it's pretty great news. I wonder if I will go to a Halloween party this year or not. Last year I was waiting tables all night so it wasn't possible - but maybe this year! Who knows. If I do go though- i'll need a costume, and that will be one big difficult decision to make.

It's funny..

It's funny how immature some grown ups are when you go to a party or get together hosted by older people. When I say older I don't mean old, I just mean older than me. Most of these people were in their 30's or 40's and some were even older than that. Of course there was drinking at this party - which I'm not saying is a bad thing. These people are all of age to drink, so who cares. But, how drunk they were did surprise me. It was kind of disgusting really, seeing parents like that. Maybe it's normal. I wouldn't know, my parents never got drunk in front of me, maybe never even got drunk away from me. Because of this I've always just looked down on parents getting "wasted". I know I won't be one of those parents at a party getting wasted. I wouldn't want my children to see me that way and I wouldn't want others to think of me that way. I'm not much into disorienting my self anyway. I like my brain to be in an all knowing state at all times. I like to know what's going on and I like to be in full control of it. I'm glad I'm this way, I love it actually. I love being smart, I love knowing, and I love feeling mature and in control. Just sometimes I wonder what these people are thinking - or if they are thinking. Maybe you'll think I'm stuck up - I'm not. I'm nice, and I accept people for how they are. Maybe you'll think I'm no fun - I am. I'm funny and I love a good time.  I am just very opinionated - and since when is that a sin?

Tattoo - soon

It is just now hitting me that in 2 weeks I will be getting ink hammered into my skin by a little needle. I'm scared and excited at the same time. I am sure that I will be completely fine, I mean obviously I'm not going to die. I suppose I'm just scared because I am completely in the dark about how this will feel. I'm positive it will hurt - a lot, but I usually handle physical pain well. I chose my right side toward the top of my rib cage  for the spot of this tattoo. I've heard that your rib cage is one of the most painful spots. I'll probably cry ha. I'll post pictures and a tell all about my first experience once it's done! October 16th is creeping up on me!

Good news!

Good news! My best friend / mother of my god daughter, Lindsey is finally moving into her dads house! I feel like I've been waiting for this moment for so long ha ha. I'm so proud of her for standing up for herself and Aubrey. I found this wonderful news out on Wednesday afternoon/night when we all go together and I was beyond joyed! I love how happy Lindsey looks.. I'm so glad she's made this decision.

some pictures:

Dream Life

I'm writing a lot tonight. Much more than usual. Since when is that a bad thing, though?


Let me describe for you my dream life.
Here it goes.

I hope to finish school in the next 3 years. By that time I would love to be engaged and on my way to marriage. I hope to have a job teaching High School English. Preferably an honors class where I can teach of Poe. I hope to live in a town house while saving up for my own home with my boyfriendt, Matt. My townhouse will be decorated nicely. It will bring a relaxing feeling over those who walk inside. My home will always smell nice and feel warm .. or cool if it is during the summer. Dark warm colors will fill all crevices and leather couches will sit on the floors. I want my basement to be decorated with nature apparel and sports memorabilia. After I'm married I hope to have at least 3 children. Definitely one of each. My children will hopefully love to do crafts, act crazy funny, and be happy for the majority of the time. I'd love to live somewhere where it is fall weather all year long, but we will see if that actually happens. It won't be the end of the world if it doesn't. I want to live in a house surrounded by nature. Trees galore. I want beautiful pottery to decorate my walls and shelves, and pictures and or paintings to fill the empty gaps. I don't think my dream life will be hard to accomplish. It will happen, I hope.

I hope I get the chance to look back on this in the future and see what I had wanted at this time.

Ethnicity

I love this picture a lot. The deep wrinkles on his face and his stern facial expression illustrate his intelligence and strength perfectly.  I have some American Indian in me. I'm not sure how much. It's definitely on my fathers side, and there is said to be some on my mothers side. That must be where I get my dark skin from since all of the other ethnicity's in my family are fair skinned. I'm so intrigued by my own and others ethnic backgrounds.

My other ethnic backgrounds that we are sure of are,

Lithuanian
Russian
Swedish
Irish
English
German
Native American
French

And I think that's it.

The Grey

The Grey

Sole ancestor of the dog,

Yet bigger, stronger, scarier.

Dirt trembles beneath its paws,

as he lurches through the forest.

The wolf travels in a pack,

with many siblings to back him up.

A shy creature,

He avoids confrontation as much as possible.

He’s cautious of his surroundings,

And knows where you are at all times.

But, a break of a twig and you are a threat.

You are now prey.

The “big bad wolf”,

just got worse.

You cannot run,

They’ll out run you.

You cannot hide,

They’ll find you.

You can fight,

But they’ll beat you.

You’re scared.

And you should be.

With amber eyes that look deep in your soul,

and a growl that echoes in your heart.

The Grey Wolf.

No one steal this, I'm very proud of my work. 

Love yourself

I think it's important for people to love themselves. Of course, you've probably heard that many times before. Really though, if you hate yourself how can you expect anyone to take the time to constantly remind you of how beautiful you are. Yes, I love to hear my boyfriend tell me I'm pretty or if I look good, but I don't NEED to hear it from him every day. If I look at myself in the mirror I see things I don't like, but more importantly, I see things I DO like. I see things I love.
I'll name them:

my eyes (mostly my eyes) 
my lips
my teeth
my hair
my cheek bones
my tan skin
I like how smart I am, and how responsible I love to be. 
I also like how mature I am becoming through the years. 

There is more, but I don't want to go on about that. Anyways, I just think it's important to like yourself. So many girls hate their appearance and develop major issues because of that unnecessary hate they have for themselves. 
So, how about every once in a while you name the things you like about yourself. 

Growing up

  Growing up means leaving things behind, but at the same time new and better things are gained.


I have noticed this past year Julie and I have grown farther apart while Matt and I have grown closer and closer. Don't get me wrong, Julie is still my best friend and always will be, but I think as people grow up they become more focused on their significant others. Some may think that fact is stupid, but I think it makes perfect sense. Yes, friends are extremely important to have. BUT you won't marry them and have babies with them will you? The answer is usually no. So, of course it is natural to become closer with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Julie and Jordan seem to always be together any second they can. This almost always pisses me off, but then sometimes I think; aren't I always with Matt any chance I get? YES I am haha. It's just what you do when you're in love, and I have to keep more of an open mind about that. Sitting here, thinking, and  typing it makes perfect sense, but sometimes when I'm lost in the moment my anger can get the best of me.  I am extremely happy and very hopeful for an everlasting future with Matt. I love thinking about my / our future. Growing up is so fun. (in my opinion). Especially the love factor of it.

God mother

    I don't think I've announced on here that I am a god mother. So, I'm proud to say, I am  now a god mother. One of my best friend's Lindsey had a beautiful baby girl named Aubrey about 8 months ago, a few months back she and Aubrey's father decided on me as the god mother. I can't even describe to you in words how happy I was to receive such news. Today I got to spend time with Julie, Linds,  and Aube. Julie and I watched little Aubbers while Linds got her nails fixed, we all went to walmart, then ordered a pizza and headed back to my house. There we spent hours playing, talking and laughing. Then Aubrey got tired and cranky so it was time for them to go home. I got to be the bad guy that carried Aubs out to the car (she hates leaving). Surprisingly she remained calm until Julie and I kissed her goodbye. It's so adorable how attached she gets in just a few hours together. I love that little girl so much :) Below is a picture of here holding herself up using the couch in my basement today.

*ALSO I just found out today that I will be called "Aunt Maddie". I love that. I love everything. It feels so amazing to love everything going on in your life. I really have no complaints.

That is all. (for now).

Today - this is a lot.

A lot happened today. To begin, Matt and I went to dunkin donuts. I got a an apple fritter and a pumpkin flavored coffee (So good). Matty got a pumpkin flavored coffee as well, and some sort of sandwich, YUCK in my opinion. Afterwards Matt dropped me off at home and headed off to work. I slowly stepped into the house, which I thought I had to myself for the day, and realized my younger sister was home. Now, for a normal person that would be fine. A lovely sisterly bonding day perhaps. In my case, this was bad news. My sister and I rarely get along, and I very much enjoy my alone time. So, upon finding out she was home all day, I was upset.
  I began my eventful day by working on a group project that is due tomorrow for a 9:30 AM class. Of course, being the un trusting person that I am, I assumed full responsibility for getting everything ready. There  has only been one other instance in which I allowed a English 102 friend to bring in our group project. Anyways, my group members emailed me their information and I put together several "prezzis" to present to the class. May sounds easy, but it took longer than you may think. Then I gathered parts of each presentation and created a mini quiz to give to my fellow classmates tomorrow morning. (I'm sure they will just LOVE that). All of this took me about 3 hours, including the occasional Twitter or Facebook break.
        Next I went to go shower. Didn't take me long, but it was much needed. Then, I resumed my position in front of my laptop and took on my second task of the day, editing my short paper that is also due tomorrow. I wrote this paper on the short story The Fall of The House of Usher, by Edgar Allen Poe (one of my favorites). By the time I finished it was nearing 2 o' clock and my mother had arrived home early from a meeting. More people to clutter the house on my only day off from work.
       I got dressed, slapped on my pretty face and headed out the door to go grocery shopping. But, oh no, I forgot my phone. I jumped out of the car and ran back to the house to quickly grab it. Sounds easy enough, right? No - I slipped on the smooth garage floor and smacked down straight on my tail bone. I was instantly numb and cut my hand in the process. My day was becoming better and better!  I eventually got up and got my phone then headed back to the grocery store. The weather had been crappy all day, but there was no real rain. I grabbed 2 boxes of pierogies from the frozen foods section, a container of pre-cut asparagus, polska kielbasa and a small bowl of feta cheese. (I had volunteered to make dinner tonight). Brent noticed I cut my hair while I was scanning my items at the self check out, which struck me as strange considering he is a middle aged man. Anywho, I finished that and headed out the door. Once again, my luck came back and it was POURING. And when I say pouring, I mean it. I tried to wait it out with an elderly couple, but it just wouldn't let up. I toughened up and ran out into the rain. I got to my car and was completely soaked. Water was dripping down my face and soaking through my jeans.
     I made it home in one piece and got back to work. I had to clean my room now. Let me give you a little background information on my room, it's always messy. It literally looks like a tornado came through more than half the time. While cleaning, I smashed the inside of my right foot on an open dresser drawer. Now I have a pretty little bruise to show for it. Sad, I know. So, I cleaned my room up, did 2 loads of laundry, and hauled my butt back upstairs to make dinner.
     I boiled the pierogies, cut the veggies, grilled up the asparagus, fried the kielbasa in a pan and then set it all up for dinner just in time for Matt to arrive. Now the family was hungry and it was time to dig in. I think they liked it, they ate it all at least. I liked it, if that counts. I've attached a picture of my good ol' Lithuanian meal.

   After dinner, Matt and I headed down stairs to do some homework. He had math to do, and I had 3 poems to write. Poems are my love, so I didn't mind. We finished, Matt headed out the door for his home, and then I cuddled up in a chair with a lit candle and finished my very last homework assignment. Finally, I was done!
       I then folded a bunch of clothes, put them away in their correct spots, and now here I am, typing. And loving every second of it.
    I suppose I should go to bed though. I have to wake up before 6 to shower and get ready for school.
Goodnight!

Back

I have not blogged in a while. Not that anyone reads it anyways, but I feel badly for neglecting it. Maybe I will come back and stay.